My Outting
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Here it goes...

Now I know what you are thinking..." What is the big secret?" Well I wanted to let everyone know straight off- I am a lesbian. OK take a few seconds to compose yourself. Yes I Kathleen Lorraine Newman am a Lesbian. I have known for quite some time - but I have not found the courage to tell anyone until now.

HOW LONG HAVE I KNOWN

Ever since I can remember, I have always liked playing house- but mommy and mommy- forget about the daddy. I loved to play with boys - but I never wanted to grow up and live in a nuclear family - although I have always seemed like the poster child for the conjugal nuclear family - I have been living with this secret for years. I would guess though that I first realised that I was a lesbian when I was 11 and I had a HUGE crush on my camp councellor and she told us she was a lesbian and told us what that meant. I realised what I was feeling about girls was normal. I didn't allow myself to believe I was a lesbian though. I though I was bi - until I was 15 or so and I came to the conclusion that I was just not attracted to guys at all. They were great friends, but I would never grow up and marry one and live happily ever after.

WHAT HAVE I DONE???

I have had the occasional boyfriend. But they were just a cover up. Most of my friends would never understand my homosexuality, so I told them all I was dating a boy who lived out of town. They never met this fictional character- and they never questioned me about him either.

However, I have never gone out with a female before- I have just fantasized. Maybe one day I will find the girl of my dreams and be happy with her. But for now I will remain single.

HOW DO I KNOW???

Just because I have never been with another woman or a man does not mean I don't know that I am a lesbian or that I am straight. How do I know I am a lesbian? I just do. I know that it just feels right for me to be with another woman, even though I have never done it. Hwo does a straight person know they are straight if they have never been with anyone? They just do. If a straight person can know they are straight without experience- then a gay person can too.

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